Searching for a Brighter Day

'What a wretched weekend' is all i have to say. no no, not just my wretched weekend; everyone's wretched weekend. I have to say... this was on of the worse thursday-sundays i've ever had. Between tears, headaches, arguments, wack parties, wasted gas, unrequited love, miserable realizations, broken hearts, boredom, ppl in jail, and work- these past few days have been an unbearable struggle. So i was depending on today to relax at the beach and have a good time with my beautiful friends, but that idea was crushed as soon as the sun decided to not shine so bright on this sunday afternoon.

I resent these past days and have so many negative thoughts to write about them....but i will not. I cannot and will not let my pessimism get the best of me. I have wallowed long enough and now i will search for serenity and my peace of mind that i've almost lost sight of. I know at times i struggle to see the light because my jealousy and misery blind me, but i pray the Lord teaches me the things that no one else can teach me. I pray that he protects me from the things that cause me to stray from my faith, before it leads to self annihilation. I am blessed. I have a wonderful family and remarkable friends. I am provided for and am fortunate to have things that many cannot. Who am i to be ungrateful?

I've decided to strengthen my optimism and breathe the air again. Lord here is my prayer for myself as well as my loved ones for this day and many desolate days to come...

Lord i pray that you deliver us from these

pains, frustrations, and confusions that burden us on this day,

Don't allow the devil to get the best of us

no matter what the circumstances may be,

Only You can save us from ourselves and

Only You are worthy of our trust,

Amen.

allow me to introduce neil adam

Neil Adam Senegal is so important to my life. I've known him for many many many years and i couldn't thank God enough for putting him into my life. From day 1 Neil and i have always clicked. We've always been on the same page. Despite our differences in small interests, we have a special connection that i have with VERY few people. I love him as i love a friend, brother, and husband all in one. This past year we haven't seen much of eachother, due to the fact that his sister and i don't hang out anymore, but everytime i see him... it's like a breath of fresh air. We instantly pick up right where we left off... as if we had just seen eachother the previous day. I don't need to talk to or see Neil all the time for us to still have this unimaginable bond. There's nothing greater than knowing that even till this day he confides in me and trusts me. I know he's going through tough times right now and i promise to dedicate my time and energy to restore his heart and uplift his spirits. He has always been and will always remain one of my most valued friends. ily "Dill"

a good start to summer :]

Welllllll... i've only been out of school for a week and i couldn't be more content with the fun that i have been having. I absolutely adore my cousin stevi and friend elysse... they bring such fun into my life. It's kind of crazy how much more happy i am with my life when they are home; i have not a care in the world. It's like i instantaneously have all the energy i could possibly muster up and i want to go places, see new things, and meet new people. We have a blast when we're together and i couldn't ask for anything better. It's only been a little while that they have been here and we've already done SO much. i can barely wait to see what this summer has in store for us. this is just the beginning !